You're Turning 40

 

A follow up to "You're Turning 30."

Hey, it happens...

 
 
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You're Turning 40

Happy birthday. You’re turning 40.
You really have come such a long way.
You’re turning 40. Happy birthday.
It’s doubtful you’ll see 40 more..

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You’re turning 40. So is your waistline.
That old physique has been steadily on the decline.
Your bones are creaking. Your low back’s aching.
Your kids are spending so much more cash than you’re making.
You’re turning 40. Still think you’re sporty.
Just don’t forget to pay your Met Life bill.

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When you were 30 it started down hill.
Now it’s ten years later better sit down write that will..
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You’re turning 40. Your lover’s sleeping.
You don’t have sex no more you’d rather stay up reading.
You got Viagra, but no endurance.
More than 10 minutes, you’ll need your health insurance.
You’re turning 40. Fun once was naughty.
Now it’s nice when you can just sit still.
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When you were 20 you were all hormone.
Now you’re happy when you get to sleep all alone.
Your hair’s receding. Your teeth are breaking.
You’re mad that every movie is an old one they’re re-making
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Soon you’ll be 50 and lose your stiffy.
Then you’ll be 60, withering quickly.
Your mind’s decaying, deteriorating.
Your body’s rotting, your skin is spotting.
But then you’re happy. It’s called dementia.
All these visitors not one has ever met cha.
They bring you candy. But you can’t chew it.
The bathroom’s way too far, so you just say “Hell, screw it.”
Your friends are all dead, cause they got lucky.
You don’t care as long as you have rubber ducky.

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Happy birthday. You’re turning 40.
It’s safe to say your healthy days are done.
Have fun tonight you might not see the sun.
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