The Perfect Gent

 

When given a new opportunity, I'm going to make sure everything works out right. We’ve got a new man here, ladies! So look out! I know I've made mistakes in the past , but fear not. I'm not going to blow it this time!
I wrote this for a girl who I was nuts about after seeing her for just a weekend.  I played this for her before our third date.  Though she held on to  her smile throughout, reading her eyes, I could tell that moment marked the beginning of the end.  She had questions about every lyric.  But worse, I had answers.  Couldn't I just have said "Ha, it's all a joke."  I find it ironic that this song itself was how I blew this one.

(For the record - No, I  don't have warts.  It just rhymed.)
 
 
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The Perfect Gent

Someone up there gave me a brand new chance
to fill my life with sweet romance.
This vision appeared out of nowhere,
approached me as if she was floating on air.
She’s so pretty, and witty, and smart and fit.
Right away I thought, “My God, could this be it.”
I asked for her number, she gave me two.
We kissed the next night on a twilight cruise.
Magic like this is not ordinary.
After so much pain I think I’m ready.
This time they’ll be a different outcome
because I’m not gonna blow this one.

 G
C
G
C
G
C
G
C
G
C
G – D
CD – C - G
   

I’m gonna scrub the tub and wash the floors,
run around the car and open the door.
I’m gonna be on my best behavior.
Maybe a year from now she’ll be in labor.

 C –C
G - G
C – C
D - D
   
I’m gonna bring her flowers with out a reason.
Try to keep them alive at least until she see them.
Remember to ask her about her day.
If we’re out to dinner even offer to pay.
I’ll be different, consistent, you will see.
Check the toilet seat you’ll find no pee.
When we together it won’t come undone
because I’m not going to blow this one.		 G
C
G
C
G
C
G – D
CD – C - G
   
I’ve made mistakes before but I’ve learned from them,
don’t admit that she could lose a pound or ten.
Don’t complain too much while she’s out shopping
and don’t ask for help when you’re back zit popping.
No, No, No, No		 D–D
G-G
D-D
C
stop
   
I’m going to clean up my act, change my underwear,
never put chewing gum in her hair.
I’m mature now so I won’t even
play with her nostrils while she’s sleeping.
I’m going to be the perfect gent,
won’t point out every time that I’ve pitched a tent.
Me and my girl are gonna have fun
because I’m not gonna blow this one.		 G
C
G
C
G
C
G – D
CD – C - G
   
I’ll try not to fart under the covers,
Christmas gifts will be more than flavored rubbers.
I’ll take all the porn off my computer,
but if I’m caught looking I’ll say “Honey, you’re much cuter.”		 C –C
G - G
C – C
D - D
   
Won’t sit around all day watching sports
and I’ll let her know beforehand about the warts.
I’m gonna wash my feet when they smell like cheese,
no longer give out prizes after I sneeze.
I’ll curb my drinking and public stripping
and toss my collection of toenail clippings.
I finally found my little sugarplum,
so I’m not gonna blow this one.		 G
C
G
C
G
C
G – D
CD – C - G
   
In the past maybe I ain’t been the best guy.
Got a flaw or two, I don’t know why.
I’m gonna change my ways, gonna do what I can
to be the perfect model of the perfect man.		 C –C
G - G
C – C
D - D
   
I can succeed if I put my mind to it,
can’t be too hard, there must be guys that do it.
I’m gonna do it quick before this girl runs
because I’m not gonna blow this one.		 G
C
G - D
CD – C - G