Bargaining Advice for Ex-Girlfriends

 

Rounding out the trio of tunes for the girl that shouldn’t have gotten away.
I tried to point out to her that she was in the best possible negotiating position. There’s always a change in dynamics when couples get back together. The smart women capitalize. And the dopey, groveling guy is perfectly happy with it.
Note:  If you plan on performing this song, you must pronounce "behoove" - "behEEve".  That's always my favorite part to sing to see if anyone catches it or not.   Once in a while I'll get a confused look, but it usually goes right over everyone's head.  Of course they... might not be listening.

 
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Bargaining Advice for Ex-Girlfriends
   

So your old boyfriend is trying to come back in to your life.
He says there’s no other girl in this world who’s even half as nice.
He’s sincere and he’s devastated.
It’s been three long years that he’s waited.
And he wants you back to live the life that was lost.

A – E – D – D
A – E – D – D
A – E
A – D
A – E – A --- E
   
You said you didn’t love him no more, but he didn’t believe you.
I say you give him a shot again it just might behoove you.
A completely changed situation
With a rise in your elevation
Hey my friend guess who’s gonna be boss.
A – E – D – D
A – E – D – D
A – E
A – D
A – E – A --- E
   
This guy’s got a broken heart.
You hold all the cards.
You’ve got the upper hand.
Shouldn’t you give a guy a second chance?
D – A
D – A
D – Esus4 E
D – E - A
   
The schmuck’s down on his luck it sucks all he wants is one more try.
His tears have lasted years he fears all alone he will die.
So desperately he needs you.
He promises to be true.
He’s ripe for the picking, what a sweet break you’ve caught.
A – E – D – D
A – E – D – D
A – E
A – D
A – E – A --- E
   
Your wish is his command.
You will wear the pants.
You can even make him ballroom dance
Shouldn’t you give a guy a second chance?
D – A
D – A
D – Esus4 E
D – E - A
   
He caused the whole freaking break up.
He made you cry, you never felt worse.
Now he’s back he wants to make up.
Well, Ok, Take that dick and put it in your purse.
E
A
E
D ! D - E7
   
You say, hey Chris, I’m not that kind of girl.
I say, wake up sis, this is the real world.
It’s the nature of the business.
He’s attracted to resistance.
The worse that you treat him, the better off you are.
A – E – D – D
A – E – D – D
A – E
A – D
A – E – A --- E
   
He thinks you’re heaven sent.
Make him pay your rent.
If he annoys you, dump his ass again.
But, shouldn’t you give a guy a second chance?
D – A
D – A
D – Esus4 E
D – E - A
   
If you want to know the truth, I'd gladly take the abuse.
Shouldn’t you give this poor schmuck a second chance?
A – E – A – D
A – E - D