Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\’s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \’happily ever after\’ place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people. Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\’t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\’t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\’s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\’s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\’s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\’s.

Music

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= song info page includes: song insights, lyrics, chords, videos, pictures, and anything else anyone contributes
= purchase the download and support this hard-working but highly insolvent artist – thanks!
Compact Discs are available on the Merch Page!
 

Live
Emotional Wreckage

Stand Up
and Comedy Music

New Wave Dynamics
Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
Remember Me (song)   $1
…Single Guy Radar     $1
…The Ring     $1
First Wife (song) $1
…Christmas Cards     $1
Single For Christmas (song)   $1
…Dating Younger     $1
Please Don’t Text Someone (song)   $1
…Injuries     $1
You’re Turning 50 (song)   $1
…Ex-Girlfriend Orgasms     $1
Oh <FirstName> (song)   $1
…Break ups / Gym     $1
I Miss Her… Vagina (song) $1
…Prisoner Interrogation     $1
President Hilary Clinton (I Wanna Be Your Intern)   $1
…There’ll Be Girls There     $1
Girls Are Crazy   $1
 
 
New songs
that may one day be studio-recorded for an album.

Scratch Track
Tuesdays

All contributions
help fund the new album.
Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
You’re Turning 50      
Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress   $1
Jingles      
Oh <FirstName>   $1
It’s Time for the Real Thing   $1  
You’re Turning 40   $1
Girls Are Crazy   $1
I Wanna Be Your Intern   $1
Now That I’m Ready To Love You, Where Do You
Live?
  $1
Please Don’t Text Someone While I’m Making
Love To You
  $1
Single For Christmas
(not really a scratch track or written on Tues)
$1
 

 

The Emotonal Wrecks
-Live From the Ventura Theatre-
Opening for the Violent Femmes

 
Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
Full Album (mp3) $10
Boyfriend   $1
Passive Aggressive $1
Don’t Pass Out   $1
Heidi   $1
First Wife   $1
Booty Call   $1
Bonus Tracks
Your Car   $1
Wreckage In Roswell $1
No Where To Go $1
Everyone Can Be Replaced $1
I Miss Her… $1
It’s Hard To Find Someone Good Enough For
Me
$1
 

 
 

Emotional Wreck

Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
Full Album (mp3) $10
The Ghost of Your Ex $1
Passive Aggressive $1
Boyfriend $1
Don’t Pass Out $1
See You Next Tues $1
Heidi $1
The Princess $1
Are You Over Me? $1
Smile, Smell, Kiss $1
Bargaining Advice
for Ex-Girlfriends
$1
Don’t Need You Anymore $1
Booty Call $1
     
       

 

Sensitive Johnson Soundtrack

Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
Full Album (mp3) $10
Prom Queen $1
Starbucks $1
I Didn’t Kiss You $1
Nobody $1
Your Car $1
Miss You $1
Don’t Erupt $1
Your Kind Face $1
The Perfect Gent $1
First Wife $1
     
     

 

Genghis Cohen Live

Item Hear Info Free Price Buy
Full Album (mp3) $10
…intro      
Ralph $1
…banter      
The Lover Abundance Blues $1
…chat      
I Want $1
…happy birthday Bess      
You’re Turning 30 $1
…filler      
I Kissed a Lesbian $1
…heartfelt story      
Mike Zivitz Did It $1
…explanation      
Trade In $1
…chuckles      
Passive Aggressive $1
…encore, encore      
Booty Call $1
     
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