Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\'s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \'happily ever after\' place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people.Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\'t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\'t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\'s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\'s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\'s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\'s.

Archive for October, 2013


Cowboy Christian Vale plays Afghanistan

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Incredible letter I received from a soldier – Thank YOU, Loran

Chris,
I want to thank you for coming to Bagram and putting on a great performance.

I think the sign of a good show is if people are still talking about it and repeating the jokes two days after you left, and I assure you we were.

I’ve extended my tour here until Dec. 31, 2014, the day combat operations end in Afghanistan and U.S. involvement in the war is over….for all practical purposes.

If you come back before then, please let me know. I’ll still be here and will buy you a free meal at the DFAC. That’s the least I can do. No seriously…that is the least I can do. I’ve tried to think of other things, but there is nothing even remotely less than that.

BTW, feel free to make lots of President Karzai jokes. If you haven’t figured it out yet, he very well may be bat-shit crazy.

I’m glad you are reading my posts now that you are gone, rather than before you came, otherwise you probably would have changed your mind about coming.

Thanks again for your four-man USO show and what you did for the troops. You and the gang are great Americans and Bob Hope would most certainly be proud.

Stay safe, and stay funny.

Loran

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