Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\’s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \’happily ever after\’ place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people. Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\’t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\’t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\’s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\’s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\’s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\’s.

Archive for November, 2008


Shh.. Surprise Party!!!!! Sat, Nov 29

Make your reservations now!
323 856-0036

As you know, or may have guessed from my “creativity”, I have not had much success holding on to girlfriends for long periods of time. Sure, this trend does have its benefits, but it also has some severe detriments. I usually keep my complaints limited to my songs and stand-up routines, but one result of this situation that has always bothered me is: the lack of surprise parties. I’ve never had one. It seems that whenever my birthday rolls around, I have never been dating a girlfriend long enough for her to be vested in our relationship to the point where she’ll throw me a surprise party.

I’ve been to other surprise parties and they seem really great: The lights are out. The person walks in. Everyone jumps up to scare the crap out of the sucker. What fun! I want that!

So, like the forty something single woman who makes an appointment with a fertility doctor, I’m not going to wait around anymore for someone to show up and do the work for me. I’m throwing myself a surprise party and you’re invited!

I found a good place for it. I know that I’ll be performing an hour show at the M Bar the night before my birthday. I will be busy preparing for the show all day – the last thing I’ll suspect is a surprise party right beforehand. The look on my face will be priceless!

I figure if we all show up at 7, get our dinner orders in, hang streamers, find hiding places, etc… I could probably get me to walk in right at 7:30. It’s gonna be hilarious. It’ll be so weird for me to enter a pitch dark M Bar. I’ll probably say something like, “Hey, didn’t they pay their electric bill?” or “Oh Drats, no one showed up for my show again.” And right then the lights will flash on and everyone will pop up and scare the bejeezus out of me. I can hardly wait to see how high I’ll jump.

So, here’s the deal… I’ll be performing a full hour and recording the show for my first comedy DVD. Being a loud part of that DVD is your gift to me, btw.

I’ll be joined by two terrific comics:

Michael Goldstrom, a tremendous talent, has enormous stage presence and energy, a blazing fast wit, and an uncanny ability to jump in and out of characters that rivals Robin Williams.

Tony Boswell is already big time. I met Tony Boswell last week in Houston where he performed in a showcase organized by the Letterman booker, Eddie Brill. Tony headlines all over the country, major clubs and corporate gigs. He’s in town to do specials at the Improv and the Ice House.

Call for dinner reservations – (323) 856-0036. There will be a $10 cover charge. You can pre-purchase tickets for $6. The M Bar is a dinner theater, so they have a $10 food minimum. But the food is really good. I’m also going to get me an incredible birthday cake (ice cream, of course) and we’ll all gorge on that.

I hope you can come.

But please… don’t mention this to me beforehand!!!!

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Dysfunctional Romantics at APCA in Houston

Phil and I performed at a college booking conference last week. A couple hundred kids from colleges throughout the south-central and Florida were in attendance. We gave out a bunch of T-shirts, CDs, stickers, and DVDs. A number of schools showed a lot of interest, so hopefully we’ll be visiting a lot next semester…
Here’s our 15 minutes on the Mainstage:

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West Hollywood, CA – 11/07/08 – The Comedy Store – Comedy Store Main Room

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