Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\’s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \’happily ever after\’ place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people. Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\’t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\’t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\’s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\’s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\’s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\’s.

Archive for June, 2008


Long Beach, CA – 06/25/08 – The Gaslamp – Strings of Comedy w/ The Dysfunctional Romantics

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Strings of Comedy in Long Beach

Musical Comics invading Long Beach!

The Hollywood Improv was packed this past Tuesday night for an evening of all musical stand-up comics. I headlined that night. All the acts were truly terrific. It was great. The crowd loved it. The energy was fantastic. It was simply an extremely fun time for everyone.

Well, we’re doing the same thing down in Long Beach this Wednesday. There will be no cover. No parking fees. And no drink minimums! Use their air-conditioning!! You’ll actually save money by coming to this show.

We’re doing it at The Gaslamp (6251 E Pacific Coast Hwy ), Wednesday night, June 25th at 8pm.

Come early! We’re getting there around 6pm to hangout an chat before the show. OneKeyAway.com is hosting the preshow festivities.

This is a top notch line up! Seriously, everyone in this show is excellent (well, there’s me, but I put it together so I’m allowed to play):

Chris Valenti – If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart.

Phil Johnson – Even when he’s screaming at the audience in the guise of a schizo killing his girlfriend or a jilted lover insulting every bit of his ex-lover’s femininity, it’s done with a warmth and a knowing glance that it’s all in good fun.

Alison Block – A stand-up comic with a guitar or a musician with a sense of humor. Her songs mix the wild and witty with the feminine tenderness found in themes about gay ex-boyfriends and male gynecologists.

Eric Schwartz – Eric’s Sundays in high school were spent listening to two hours of Doctor Ruth followed by two hours of Doctor Demento. That should explain his penchant for sexually explicit, humorous songs.

Piper & Tupper – Back from a 10 year tour of the Bermuda Triangle, this hippy duo is actually 40 years behind us musically, but their big hearts and enthusiasm overshadow their confused state of musical oblivion.

Evan Wecksell – Evan’s act is a blend of comedy and music. He celebrates dysfunctional relationships, endorses unorthodox career paths, and makes fun of bad music.

Dysfunctional Romantics - Comprised of musical comics Chris Valenti and Phil Johnson, the two confused Romeos sing of the struggles, blunders, temporary triumphs, and missed opportunities that anyone who has ever attempted dating knows all too well. Songs like “Please Don’t Text Someone While I’m Making Love to You”, “You’re Not Gonna Get Any Tonight”, and “Now That I’m Ready to Love You, Where Do You Live?” express turmoil familiar to those who have ever been in relationships.

Come have some free fun with us. It’s going to be great.
Chris

ps – All comedy shows this week should be dedicated to the memory of the amazing George Carlin. This one will be.

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Los Angeles, CA – 06/17/08 – Hollywood Improv – Rock Comedy All Stars

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Long Beach, CA – 06/12/08 – DiPiazza’s – The Translucent Ham Sandwich Band

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Headlining Rock Comedy Night at the Improv

I was invited to headline at the Improv!

If you want to come for free, e-mail me at ChrisValentiMusic@GMail.com and I’ll get you on the guest list. They’re giving me a big list. The show is next week, Tuesday, June 17. It’s the 10pm show. The address is 8162 Melrose Ave.

This will truly be a great show. Here’s the line up:

Brooke Wilkes – Blonde good looks are icing on the light and sugary cake. Brooke’s retro-driven sound and sense of humor thrives in a fun-filled party-time setting.

Vomit – Comprised of Skye and Moone, identical twins separated at age 11 when their parents got divorced. They were reunited when Skye got arrested and Moone bailed her out. Vomit was born.

Riegel and Blatt – From the brain of LA’s Sam Riegel & Rob Blatt comes the most inventive, weird and downright handsome sketch comedy in the known universe.

Scott Vinci – Google him yourself. I’ve given up.

Smooth E – Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E (not related to the Eric Schwartz I performed with in April) is more than meets the four eyes. This stand-up comedian, sketch player, rapper and actor seamlessly weaves through a countless lineup of original characters and musical pieces, making him a favorite at clubs, colleges, on television and the web.

Odes Gross – Funny actor/piano player. Great songs about those with low tolerance levels.

WeHo Beanflickers – Your guess is as good as mine. Although, I live in West Hollywood so mine might be a little better.

Chris Valenti – (my personal favorite) His songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities that radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure when dating. Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of misfortunate single people.

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San Diego, CA – 06/09/08 – Dublin Square Irish Pub – San Diego Monday

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Santa Monica, CA – 06/06/08 – The Talking Stick – Java with Javelyn

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Java with Jingles

I was invited to play Java with Javelyn this Friday at 7pm – 1630 Ocean Blvd, Santa Monica 90405.
It’s good timing because Phil Johnson and I got a callback for the big Jingles reality show that’s going to be on CBS. If you were one of the people who voted for the video jingle you thought we should submit, thank you. It worked. But all those jingles are now scratched. We’ve got to write brand new ones for fake products they gave us.
I have to quickly learn how to singingly sell. Please come down and ridicule me as I try to decide which ones I should perform for real. The audition is like the American Idol situation where they tape what you do and then show all the horrible auditioners in the first episode. I don’t mind looking like a buffoon in the privacy of my own gig with you there, but in front of the country? Yikes.
So lend me a hand, will you? You can fire me like Trump or vote me off the island – I don’t mind – As long as it happens at Talking Stick I’m fine with it.

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Los Angeles, CA – 06/03/08 – The Mint – The Translucent Ham Sandwich Band

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Los Angeles, CA – 06/01/08 – The Derby – Solo Acoustic

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