Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\'s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \'happily ever after\' place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people.Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\'t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\'t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\'s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\'s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\'s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\'s.

Archive for April, 2008

New Sitcom

Any thoughts on our new promo material for the Dysfunctional Romantics? I like it, but I’m nervous that it looks too much like a bus ad for a new Tween show on the Family Channel.


Scratch Track Tuesdays – “Oh {FirstName}” (The Form Letter Love Song)

A song that could be played for every girl.
Listen to “Oh {FirstName}”


Radio Interview Wednesday Morning

Gina Hendrix will be interviewing me on her relationship show – Love Life Makeovers – Wednesday morning at 11am (PST). Listen in!!!


This Week’s ‘Strings of Comedy’ Performers

This Week's Strings of Comedy Show includes Chris Valenti, Phil Johnson, Byron Walls, and Michael Goldstrom.


Scratch Track Tuesday – “It’s Time for the Real Thing”

Fake Baby Hannah - found on eBayMy friend Laura Brennan asked me to write a song for a web series written by her and her co-creators Rachel Leventhal and Jennifer Maisel called, “Faux Baby.” It’s a hilarious and twisted story of a couple uncertain whether they are ready to have a child yet. Their doctor suggests they get a fake baby first. Apparently this is not uncommon. Laura suggested I google it to see how real they are. It is freaking weird. People do this. People walk around with dolls and treat them as actual babies. And the baby dolls look amazingly real, but sadly dead, if you ask me. This song was written for the scene where the couple decides they’ve had enough of the fake baby and want a real one. Yes, it goes over the sex scene.

I tried to write something that was a play on words and a parallel to a break up where one person feels the other is no longer desirable. They have become an uninspiring, rigid bore. Oddly enough, I feel like I came up with an anthem for almost any presidential candidate this year.

Remember, it’s just a scratch track. But I did have some fun with harmonies.

Listen to “It’s Time for the Real Thing”


Watch last night’s show on

Eric Schwartz and I jammed at the Knitting Factory last night. filmed it, streamed it, and now offers highlighted songs from the performance for free. Check it out here.


Live VideoCast on

If you can’t make it down to the Knitting Factory to see Eric Schwartz and I perform, stay at home and watch it live as it happens! Wednesday night, April 9, 7:45pm PST. Here’s the link:


Scratch Track Tuesday – “You’re Turning 40”

The sequel to ‘You’re Turning 30.’ Hey, it happens….

You’re Turning 40


I Wanna Be Your Intern (quick video)

There seems to be a political song competition on the front page of YouTube. My Hillary song wanted to be in the race. And she’s not quitting until it’s over. How about a vote?


Scratch Track Tuesdays – “Girls Are Crazy”

Girls are often complaining that they can’t find a nice guy or keep a boyfriend they like. And suddenly all guys are ‘assholes’. Well, I think I can safely speak for all guys with this musical response. Girls Are Crazy