Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\’s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \’happily ever after\’ place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people. Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\’t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\’t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\’s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\’s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\’s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\’s.

Archive for November, 2007


New Single for Christmas

Feeling a bit of the seasonal spirit, I went into the studio this week and recorded a new single for Christmas. I call it “Single For Christmas”. Every other Christmas song you hear is about happy couples snuggling by the fireplace, making snow ordained-ministers, or going for horse-drawn sleigh rides (which no one has done in a hundred years – Dammit!). Well, good for them, but what about the rest of us who don’t happen to have that damn snuggly-smuggly relationship at the moment? What if your jerk of an ex cheated on you with some swashbuckling Pirate of the Caribbean four weeks ago? Or what if you wound up stuffing his head with a drumstick because his nagging about your lumpy gravy and family members just became to much to handle? Shouldn’t single people have their own happy Christmas song? Well, now we do. Hear it now.

And since the Christmas shopping spree has begun, I think it’s a good time to remind you what a terrific stocking stuffer, office gift, and white elephant entry the merchandise right here on the website makes. Why bore your assistant with a typical box of chocolates? Be a cool boss and give Emotional Wreck CDs. Got a buddy who likes indy films and comedies? Give a Sensitive Johnson DVD, of course. Got a daughter in high school or college who’s having relationship issues and you want to keep it that way? Give her a Romantically Dysfunctional spaghetti strap shirt. Ah, holiday shopping has never been so easy. And with any purchase before Dec 25, I’ll send you a copy of the new holiday hit, “Single for Christmas.” In fact, if you buy 20 items or more for your whole office or family or something, I will come down there and give a lunchtime office concert or an evening house concert with that purchase. If you have questions about your order, or you want to haggle a bulk deal, call me. You can even use the booty call hotline (323) 851-9190.

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New DVD of Emotional Wrecks opening for the Violent Femmes

undefinedAnd here’s even bigger news, just in time for Christmas, the DVD & CD combo “Chris Valenti and The Emotional Wrecks Live from the Ventura Theater Opening for the Violent Femmes” is now complete and available online and at shows. It was a pretty exciting night and we captured it on film. You get one disk for your TV and another for your car. The disk has the complete set from the performance at the Ventura Theater – warts and all (or should I say eye-patch) – as well as some other songs from other shows we’ve played and some bonuses. It’s a must have for every die-hard Valenti fan, both of them.

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My Birthday – Gig at the Good Hurt

It’s good to live another year. But it also seems like my body is hurting more and more. But it’s good. But it hurts. So could there be a more appropriate place to hold the celebration than The Good Hurt? I’ll be gigging with the band from 8-9:30 this Thursday, Nov 29, then we’ll just be hanging out watching the clock tick as I get closer to death. Ah, I love birthdays. If you want to come up and sing some of the wreckage with me, or for me since I might be too old now, you are welcome to rush the stage. If you write me a personalized version of “You’re Turning 30″, even just a verse, come on up and share it.It’s my party. And I’ll cry if I want to. And I’ll want to if you’re not there.

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New Sensitive Johnson Video Podcasts

undefinedTwo more Sensitive Johnson webcasts have been added since I wrote last.  Segment 7, “The Urologist”, features a hilariously deadpan David Garrett as the urologist.  Many people call this scene the film’s funniest.  It also includes a great cameo by Ian Harris.  Segment 8, “The Rubberband”, features a hilariously deadpan rubberband.  Actually it’s a little more gruesome than hilarious, but that just depends on your taste.  Check them out on the Sensitive Johnson podcast.  Did I mention that it’s also available on DVD?  Now get up and work off some of that stuffing.

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Review and fun shows for the week

The Emotional Wrecks and I were reviewed in this week’s Music Connection Magazine. A very nice critique. I’ve posted it on the Press Page. Here’s the shot Bernard Baur took and printed with the article. I like it – it looks like we’re playing on the beach.

I’ve got a great show Saturday night at a big club, Jewel’s Catch One. This place has dancing on some floors, live performances on others, and bars on all of them. The live performances start at eight, I’m on around nine. They will be music, comedy, sketch comedy, and me – a combination of all three. I’ll go on around nine. Saturday, Nov 17, 8pm, Jewel’s Catch One, 4067 W Pico Blvd

But if you can’t wait… On Wednesday I’ll be playing a show at the M Bar saluting the firefighters who fought the recent wildfires. My friends Michael Goldstrom and Shanti will also be performing a little stand up comedy and a little pop music, respectively. The M Bar has great food and is a cool late night hang out. And I hear we’re going to eat fire cake, whatever that means. Come show your support. Wednesday, Nov 14, 10pm, M Bar, 1253 N Vine St

And if you really can’t wait… tonight I’ll be performing the Tuesday night residency at the Mint with the Translucent Ham Sandwich Band – Evan Stone’s trail mix of jazz, video projection, jugglers, magicians, belly dancers, roller waitresses, strippers, and balloon animals. The show starts at 10:30. It’s late, but it may be the craziest music you’ll ever see. We do some form of it every Tuesday night in November. Tuesdays in November, 10pm, The Mint, 6010 W Pico Blvd

Also, the sixth webisode of Sensitive Johnson, “Popcorn”, is online. This segment features drama and an action movie. Subscribe to the Sensitive Johnson Video Podcast, to see each webisode as its released (so to speak).

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