Chris Valenti

If you’ve ever been frustrated by a relationship and you have a twisted, but healthy sense of humor, then Chris Valenti is the artist for you. Chris takes his romantic failures and frustrations personally and pours them out to you straight from his wry, twisted heart. Valenti\’s songs of struggles, blunders, and missed opportunities radiate the painfully funny universal suffering we all endure. His show is part music, part comedy, part therapy, and part romance – as well as action, adventure, mystery and sometimes horror. A philosopher of love – usually, the kind of love that did not exactly make it to that \’happily ever after\’ place, Chris writes and performs songs that touch upon the common truths of the humorous lives of single people. Songs like Passive Aggressive, about the cute little problems that get blown out of proportion in every sweet, loving relationship, and The Ghost of Your Ex, about dates who can\’t stop talking about their ex-boyfriends, strike close to home for those who can not reel in the full attention of their present partner. Don\’t Pass Out is a plea and warning to men and women everywhere to curb excessive drinking, especially on first dates. The upcoming album includes It\’s Hard to Find Someone Good Enough For Me, which nails the single person\’s core issue head on – and was featured on The Dr. Phil Show – and Everyone Can Be Replaced, a positive look at the end of relationships. Most shows end with Chris\’s new approach to women, Booty Call. A hopeful romantic with a wry sense of humor, Chris has the knack for using self-deprecation and vulnerability to write songs about the hazards and frustrations of love and attempted relationships. He’s become the cheerful motivator for the unlucky in love, because the best cure for a broken heart is laughing at someone else\’s.

Archive for August, 2007


A Two-Eyed Valenti and a band of Wrecks attack Santa Monica

 Musicians often say “If you ever wanted to see a show, this is the one to check out.”  Well, for me, this Friday, the 24th, at the Santa Monica Bar & Grille it’s true.  For one, I can look back at you.  I’m seeing things from both eyes now.  I’m healed.  It was nothing short of a miracle.  If you want, I’ll let you touch the scar.  The better reason to come is that I’m going to play SO MANY songs.  I’ve got two sets to fill – one with the band and one solo.  I’m opening for the Emotional Wrecks.  It’s exciting.  That’s something I’ve always wanted to do.  Acoustic at nine.  Band at eleven.   But don’t leave the room in between, because Amy Raasch will be singing a set for you, Renee Wilson (the Raelette from the movie “Ray” who is debuting with her own band at Room 5 this Wed at nine) will be playing for you, the amazing Gregg Sartiano (he can actually play all songs not only ever written, but ever thought of) will be playing for you.  These are just some of the talented Emotional Wrecks that opened for the Violent Femmes who will be entertaining you. 

And you know how much it costs?       Nothin’. 

I love this Santa Monica Bar & Grille – 3321 Pico Blvd, just beyond the 10 overpass .  It’s brand new and freakin awesome.  The sound system is amazing.  The food is great.  It’s a classy, but fun place that caters to great music and good times. You should really check it out Friday.  

Also, next Friday, the 31st, I’m at the Comedy Store.  

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Coming to NY Sept 21

So here’s the exciting news for you – I’m playing in New York City on a Friday night in September!  No holiday distractions like there are every year.  No odd Tuesday night show because Dec 26th falls on it.  This is a regular ole, Friday night, just past happy hour!  Friday Sept 21st, 8pm put it in your calander.  I’ll be at Wicked Willy’s (formerly Asylum), 149 Bleeker St between LaGuardia & Thompson.  I’ll have tales of Femmedom (?) and crazy new songs for you.  I’m really excited about this show – playing NY on a weekend, while it’s warm!  Can’t wait to see you there.

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The eye

On to the eye…  It works.  The vision is not as crisp as it used to be, but it sure beats being blind like I was last week.  So, big deal, I have one strong eye and one weak one and I walk in circles a lot.  At least now I have an excuse.  I recommend USC Doheny Eye Center’s Dr. David Huang to anyone who impales their cornea with a binder as their car tries to kill them by slipping out of the parking brake.  That Jeep.  For sixteen years I loved it and took care of it.  I was its first, and its only.  And just like all other meaningful relationships I have, this one ends violently.  I was about to get rid of her – I had to; it obviously wasn’t working between us any longer; I could feel the uncomfortable tension all week – but of course, she had to get the last word in.  She ended it herself – by blowing up on me yesterday morning.  Blew a gasket.  Blew a fuse.  Blew her engine.  She showed me. 

Gone Daddy Gone.   My love is gone.  Yeah, Gone Daddy Gone. 

The Femmes show.  Amazing.  At least the half I saw was.  I wore my eye patch.  Most people thought it was part of the act, just a costume, as if we were going to play “you spin me right round baby right round, like a record player right round, round round.”  But the truth is that I never realized how much I actually use that eye to peek down and see what chords I’m playing.  It was like some perverse typing class where they take all the letters off the keyboard and tell you not to make any mistakes, only here you’re in front of a thousand people who don’t want to hear the crappy opening band screw up the show anyway.  Yikes!  I couldn’t see my guitar.  Oh boy.  What do I do?  Well, that day, I channeled one of my heroes, a man I had good reason to think about all week… Mr. Ray Charles, baby.  I think he helped me out because I didn’t miss a note.  And you’re not going to believe this, but it is 100% true, on the day of the show a beautiful and talented singer named Renee Wilson – a girl I never met; she’s Amy Raasch’s friend – showed up to sing with the band because one of the Wreckettes had an emergency and thought she couldn’t make it.  Renee Wilson, I found out later, played one of Mr. Charles singers in the movie “Ray”.   I had a Raelette as a Wreckette.  I sh*t you not.

So it was meant to be.  And it was.  Just an amazing evening in my limited rock and roll experience.  I had not only one of my musical inspirations present, but two.  The crowd dug it.  A ton of people signed up as fans (that’s 2000 lbs worth of people, that’s about right).  And the awesome people at the Ventura Theater said they’d love to have us back, so we may get to do it again.  I put the video of our opening song up on my site www.ChrisValentiMusic.net.   The band was in top form that night.  Eight of us!  Gary, Greg, Gregg, Amy, Heather, Pam, Renee, and me.  Check it out. 

If you didn’t see the show, but want to see the band, spend a Friday night in LA.  We will be playing at the Santa Monica Bar & Grill on Friday Aug 24th.  Reasons to come that night: Three Hour show (9-12), No Cover, extremely classy new music venue, great food & drink.  I’m going to start off with an acoustic set at 9; then give the stage over to some of the amazing musicians who are generous enough to help me out in the band: Amy Raasch, Gregg Sartiano, and more, maybe even Renee Wilson; then we’ll play a full band set to close the night.  It’ll be a great party.  The Hotel Cafe doesn’t let you in with out a cover, and this place will probably change their policy soon, but for now it’s free for you.

Although if you don’t want to drive to LA that Friday, no problem.  I’m driving up to Santa Barbara the next night.  Come see me at Rocks (801 State Street) on Saturday, Aug 25th.  I go on at 8.  I’ll be all alone and acoustic, so come hang out with me. 

Just remember:  It’s all fun and games… period!

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Femmes Show Was a Blur

So I’m glad a couple friends of mine filmed it.

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